New Year=New Hair

In celebration of a  new year, I decided to get a little hair cut.
Yes the decision was bangs.
I joined the cloud of women who sport bangs.
Yes, to answer your question, they do hang in your eyes a bit, and may cause impairment to the vision.
But they are trendy and cute.
and why not?

love,

jocelyn elizabeth

Vacation is Such a Refining Experience

All I can say is Christmas Vacation has been very refining for me.

-I never want to step foot in a mall again. I am burnt out on sales and grouchy, materialistic people.

-Shoplifting is the trashiest thing that people do.

-I will probably never get mad or give someone the "bird" for taking my parking spot. It doesn't matter in the end. (I will probably get a nice up front spot in heaven, because I gave no way to anger, jk).

-I am always reminded its the holidays with the increase of: engagement announcements, pregnancy announcements, and iphone announcements on people's facebook statuses.

-I have eaten a whole year's worth of sweets in the justification of "its Christmas, why not?"

-And I have cried my eyes out watching one of the greatest love stories of all time, Bright Star.

-I have been the most reclusive in my whole life, wanting to only drink coffee, stare at the snow, and be in my home.

However in the end, I have learned this:

The satisfaction of God can never be measured by how many clothes I have or what new electronic I own.
I will never be seen different in His eyes with how trendy I am or how much money I can lay down on a purse.
It doesn't matter to Him.

What matters is, what have I done for the Kingdom?
What have I done? Where am I going? What am I doing?

All questions that this vacation has brought to the surface and started to refine in my heart.


One thing I can say is that I am so glad Salvation came to earth.
I was saved from a life headed for misery and despair.
He had grace on my life. He was true to His Word, He takes care of His own.
I, first hand, have experienced His fulfillment of a promise.
He saved me, and my heart feels overwhelmed by the beauty of being Redeemed.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year's (I can feel its going to be a great one)!

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

Love is Such a Reckless Thing.

I wish you could just love and never be fearful of hurt. It would be so great. To love, and not experience heartbreak.

Love has such a heavy exchange. In order to deeply love someone, there needs to be the exchange, a piece of the human heart. And in the exchange, there is a risk of heartache.

I don't think heartache can be limited to a boyfriend, but rather any person in general.

Love is the biggest risk taker in my life. There is this part in me to simply not love deeply at all. I want to have shallow relationships, that come and go, with no risk involved. It would be so simple, yet so lonely.

Then there is this part of my heart that wants to love so deeply and selflessly. I want to love a person regardless of how they react, treat or acknowledge me. This kind of love is unrelenting.

I wish I could say I act out in the latter more than the previous. However, the fear of a broken heart holds me back. It creates this self-preservation. I want to preserve rather than give anything away. I would rather save myself, than show love to another. How grosse, yet honest. 

C.S. Lewis puts it so much better,
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

I think currently I am going through the process of  loving deeply.
No matter how I feel, I will love.
I will love enough to forgive.
I will love enough to selflessly serve.
I will love no matter how I feel.

I know Jesus is teaching me. He is teaching me to be like Him. Nothing could be any sweeter yet refining.

1 Corinthians 13:13
"And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

Need advice on Climbing A Mountain Attire?

I climbed this mountain in Colorado called Hallet's Peak a few years ago.

I stumbled upon a picture today that made me remember that good time in my life.

If you ever need tips on attire for mountain climbing, I am your "go to girl."

Guess which one I am? 

(hint: I had a hard time breathing while climbing)

Obviously, I was the person in the group who was less seasoned in "how to look good when taking a photo while climbing a mountain."

love,

jocelyn elizabeth

A Golden Moment from being a Nanny

I was nannying for a family last night.
And there are three kids, five year old, three year old, and a newborn.
The five year old and three year old are probably some of the most creative kids. The oldest little girl has the same first name as me, which is pretty special!


I feel like the best part of my job is that you can just be as weird as you want around kids, and they love it.
The more weird and funny you are, the more they love you. There is no fear of man with little kids. They just like you for who you are.


So last night, me and the little girl were talking about our favorite Disney princesses.

This is how the conversation went:

Me: "My favorite Disney princess is Ariel."

Little girl: "That's MY favorite Disney princess."

Me: "WHAT? Your favorite Disney princess is MY favorite Disney princess, and we have the same name! I think we are going to be best friends."

Little girl: (leans in and whispers) "We already were."


And my heart melted.

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

Taylor Swift=Good Music

Taylor Swift is probably my favorite pop/country artist.
I can listen to her whole album and connect with almost every song.
How does she do it?

Taylor,
Are you reading my past journal entries? Have you followed my previous love life? Seriously, you hit the nail on the head almost every time.
I can't sing like you, but I sure can imagine myself singing those songs and the music video of my life playing out. (which by the way would be a really good one).
I mean whether it's homework or driving in the car, the songs get me every time. Your classy, yet honest. Good touch.

And now these romantic coffee dates with jake. Listen whether you guys make it or break it, the next album is going to probably be one of your best.

So all I have to say is, good job, Taylor Swift. You make me proud to be a listener of pop music.

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

Sisterhood

Growing up, I had one person who was my biggest enemy and my best friend.
She was the one who bossed me around.
She was also the one who was my only friend my freshmen year of highschool.
Sometimes, family can be one of the most difficult relationships in the world.
Yet they can be the sweetest.

I always wanted an older brother growing up. Yet, I have an older sister.
Yes the sister who would punch and shred the man that hurts her little sister.
The sister who doesn't hide the remains of trying on and borrowing your shoes from your room.
Or the familiar new purse or headband, she is sporting which came from the mall of my closet.

Yet she is the one who knows the good and bad from my past.
She is the one who is refining to be with.
She is the worldchanger and heart of the family.
She is the woman who inspires and desires for humanity to be whole.
She is the one who inhabits all laughter and joy from the sweet and embarrassing memories of family road trips.

Sisters are the best.
Who else can you talk with about issues with your parents?
Who else can you laugh with about the crazy matching outfits when you were four and six?
Or the embarrassing modeling poses on the beach when you were 8 years old?

I am amazingly blessed.

I love you, Rachel Ann. 

I wouldn't want anyone else as my sister.
There is no one else who is more hipster, passionate about Africa, incense loving, goodwill shopping, and committed to free trade.
You are the perfect balance to the berry girls.

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

A Thankful Thanksgiving

This has been one of the best Thanksgivings. 

I slept in until noon, which has not been done more than thrice this semester. 

After I woke up, I laid on the couch looking through Black Friday advertisements. 

Then my left eye swelled up, because of my allergic reaction to our cat. So I looked a little rough. I was thankful this was going to be a day with no public outings. Then my parents insisted on having me take benadryll, because I needed to just be a little more lazy. However, the benadryl expired in 2008. So it thankfully had no effect on me. Sadly, it had no effect on the puffed up eye.

Then I moved from the couch to my bed and watched the snow fall down and pondered about life. Finally I jumped in the shower and got ready for dinner time. 

After dinner, my family and I sat down and watched CNN's Heroes. It is a special on CNN every Thanksgiving. It shows ten different people, who are average day people yet are doing heroic things. If you want to be inspired, watch it. 

INSPIRATION

I want to be a hero. I want to find the need and do something. Maybe that is why I have recently become really passionate about being a teacher.

I want to be an instrument. 
I want to bring change. 
I want to do something eternally impacting.

I always thought that being married would bring my life to full circle. Yet every day, I am coming to the realization that there is more to be done. There is something beyond the fairytale I dreamed. There is a world outside of mine. It's a broken world. One that needs the message of redemption and salvation. A world that needs someone to bend down and be willing to get dirty. To dig in deep and not give up. To not turn when things get messy.

Maybe my heroic impact will be:
teaching
discipleship
missions
taking care of orphans
loving my neighbor
praying for my enemy

I want to do something great.


Here's to another year of thankfulness. Here's to change.

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

Really?

Last night, I was working on a power point presentation for school.
I was on this photo website looking for stock photos and needed a picture that represented compassion.
I needed maybe a picture of Mother Theresa or a woman holding a hurting or dying child.
Maybe even a picture of a heart breaking in two, you know those photos that bring tears to your heart.
And I was completely shocked at the results.


















And these were the results:

Does this look like a face of compassion?

Remotely close?

Compassion, definitely not, but maybe some passion behind those paws to play the keys.

I just had to share my shock and confusion when it pulled up.....


love,
jocelyn elizabeth

Do You Know the Real Me?

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if my friends knew the real me?

You know the raw, me.

The one who gets frustruated when people chew their food too loud.
 Or the person who gets annoyed when someone interrupts me.

Yes this is the real me. The girl who sees her flaws very clearly everyday.

I have a hard time loving the socially awkward.
I am impatient at times.
Too judgemental.
Too assuming of the worst.
Too human.

And then I realize.
Jesus Christ knows the real me.
He knows the ins and outs of my heart.
And He's not taken back or surprised. He just pursues more. He gently reminds me of who I am destined to be.

I genuinely enjoy having a deep relationship with God. He brings this satisfaction to the longing of my heart. I don't necessarily understand Him all the time or how He works. But I know His character. I know I can trust Him, because He reveals His character to me through the Bible.

How can I not love Him? He heals the lame, forgives the harlot, and selflessly dies for my imperfections, my sins, so that I may have eternal life.

Psalm 73:26
"My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever."

Thank you, God. Thank you.

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

My Friend Procrastination

I am here with my friend, Procrastination.
He always shows up at the perfect time, right when I need to get that important thing done.
He likes to keep me entertained with facebook and funny youtube videos.


Anyways, I am very good at procrastinating. If I have changed my facebook profile picture ten times in a day, its the sign of procrastination. If i comment on all 1,000 of my friends pictures, its because I am procrastinating.

Here is a perfect picture of procrastination. A photo shoot with my webcam at 11pm at night.

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

5 Things I have Learned from being a Bridesmaid

Currently, I have been in 5 weddings.
Every time someone has asked me to be one of their bridesmaids, I have felt overwhelmingly honored.
It is such a big deal to be in someone's wedding party.
Each wedding, I have been in, has been some of my dearest friends.
To be able to share in this monumental moment with them, from getting ready to hearing their excitement after coming down the aisle, as the new "Mr. and Mrs.," is one of the best things ever.

However, by being a bridesmaid five times, I have learned some very good tips.

1. Make sure you get around the bride when she is putting her dress on. Even if you don't know how to help her out, get in there. You are guaranteed a spot in the professional pictures. Make note, I did not know how to put April's dress together in the back. However, I am looking inquisitively which equaled spot in memorable moment.

inquisitive look

2. Practice some model poses. A good bouquet of flowers and a church makes some great model photographs. They are given facebook profile pics. Where was the bride? Don't know, but got some good profile pics.

3. Smile big when walking down the runway, I mean aisle. This is your moment. Be the shining star, for 2 seconds. You never know when you will be the one in white walking down the aisle, so live your aisle of fame up.

  

4. Be the designated driver. Step up to the plate. Be the person who is the go to person. They want to know where the lady in white is, well you got her safe in sound in a seat belt next to you. She's not going anywhere.

 

5. Learn those dance moves now. This is your practice ground for when you decide to try out for "So You think you can dance." People won't think your weird if you look like a fool, trying to get all those quirks out of your robot. They think you are wedding dancing. 

Now I am going to go back to my homework and stop having ADD.

love,

jocelyn elizabeth

One Year Ago

I have recently realized the wonderful effects of change. It is such a beautiful thing to experience.

I was laying on my bed the other day realizing how different I am than I was a year ago. two years ago. three years ago.

So many stages of life, I have gone through. So many trials, I have endured. So many victories, I have tasted.

I wouldn't trade to go back. Not one year ago. Not two years ago. Not three years ago.

I am stronger. I am wiser. I am quick to forgive and slow to be bitter.

I am a different woman. And I completely embrace it. May I become more of the solid, confident woman I am destined to be.

I am so blessed to be where I am.

So here is a little flashback:

four years ago- little 19 year old intern

 

Three years ago- 20 years old and discipling the best 12 girls ever...

 

 And I also made some of my best friends that year. 20 was a great year.

And now two years ago, I was 21. And I traveled the world. 

Israel

And I grew up and left the world of Teen Mania Ministries.

Now last year was one of the most intense.

I got my first job.

I had my first real heartbreak.

I went away to college.

And I was in three weddings.

It was a bittersweet year.

And along the way, I have made some of the most amazing friends, again.

 And now I am 23 years old. 

Embracing every moment.

I wouldn't change a thing.

I am a completely crazy college girl who stays up until 4 am, dresses up in crazy halloween costumes, and is loving Jesus fully.

I love the fact I am not getting any younger.
I am becoming more of the wife, mother, and godly woman I am destined to be.

Here's to you, 23. cheers.

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

.necessity not an accessory.

I want Jesus to be a necessity in my life. I don't want Him to be an accessory in my life.

When I have a home,  I don't want the decorations in my home to say "God is in this house" when He's not.
I want a home where the Spirit of the Living God is felt through the threshold of the home.
I am realizing more and more that it is so easy to get caught up in the routine of life.
I forget that God only satisfies my heart.
I want to learn this now. I do not want to be 55 years old and wearing Jesus as an accessory.

See, I am alive when I am connected to Him. He said, "I am the vine. You are the branches. Apart from Me, you can do nothing."
Abiding in Him, gives me life. Purpose. Vision. Empowerment.

Without Him, everything I do is lifeless.

I want to be this authentic woman. I want to bring Life to the dying. I want to speak freedom over the captives.

In closing, Brooke Fraser says it the best.

Musical Talent=Bonus Points?

Does being musically talented gain bonus points with males?

I feel like I get the question, "So are you musically talented?" (with a nonchalant, hopeful voice)

I reply, "Nope. I tried the piano for years. I just feel like I wasn't chosen to be musically talented."

And the thought goes through my mind, "Did I just lose points with him?"

Yes, I know being musically talented is extremely attractive to a person. Oh I know.

I wish with all my heart I had a soft raspy singing voice that I could serenade people with. Yet I know what God gave me, and it was the exact opposite.

 But I want to tell that person,

"Listen, I may not know how to sing or pick up that guitar in the corner and start strumming some Norah Jones song. But I can do many other things such as paint, have heart felt conversations, or even know what shirt goes with which pants. I also am very funny. I can find humor in the darkest situation. I like to watch The Office and watch sports on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Even though I am not musically talented, I love to read works such as AW Tozer and CS Lewis. So before you ride off my attributes, listen to what I can offer first. If you are really looking for that musically talented person, I am willing to lip sing. I will also not wash my hair for a few days so it seems a little greasy grungy. Then I will put some skinny jeans on with a cute knit hat and trendy flats. But please before you take points off the score board, see who I am really am first."

Yet, I don't think I will ever say that out loud.

So if being musically talented earns bonus points, I will not score those. But I have my witty humor to win him over. (i hope.)

*this post is NOT geared to some specific male out in the world.

However, if I was musically talented, I would want to sing like her:

Shout Out to My Girlzzzzzzzz

okay so I laughed the hardest while watching this video.

This video is dedicated to all my girlfriends who can hilariously relate to this video.

Embarrassing to admit that I can.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gspaoaecNAg

Top Ten Things: #9 set.

So #9 on my top ten list has been researched and I think set.

Fellow Blog Readers:

SAVE THE DATE

May 28-29

Ottawa, CANADA Marathon

http://www.ncm.ca/index.php/en/sunday

I am going to fly up there and visit one of my dearest friends Britney Moore and her hubby. Also my uncle and family live in Ottawa. I have been wanting to make a visit up there, but now there is definitely a good goal to go up there. I will be done with school, i think.

And so I am going to start training!

Any posters, flowers or sweet encouraging words will be greatly appreciated.

For all those visual learners, I will start making videos of this training process. Be prepared for some good matching running clothes and cute headbands.


love,
jocelyn elizabeth

Top Ten Things

I am young. On this college campus, I am one of the oldest, but in the real world I am a youngster.

So these are the top ten things I want to do while young and in my 20's:

1. Travel. Anywhere. I just want to travel.
2. Live in the city. New York. LA. Nashville.
3. Write a book. About the value of womanhood.
4. Start my own company. Something that I am passionate about doing.
5. Read 12 biographies in a year. 12 leaders that sparked change in the world.
6. Take a hip hop dance class. No joke. So you think you can dance has inspired me.
7. Pay off my student loans. Quickly.......
8. Have my own apartment and decorate it with chic style.
9. Run a marathon.
10. Get plugged into a church that shares my same heartbeat for an organic Christian faith, that is real, raw, and life changing.

Now, please post any other ideas that you think I should accomplish while being young and in my 20's. (besides finding a husband and creating offspring).

Love,
jocelyn elizabeth

Busy, Busy, Life

I need to update my blog MORE!!! I can't have a constant reader base, when I don't have anything for my readers to read.


I just got back from fall break. It was by far amazing. I went to Virginia Beach to visit some lovely friends from Teen Mania.

Thank you Teen Mania for creating an environment to make strong godly friends for a lifetime.

However, I do want to talk about something that I discovered while talking to one of my best friends who got married this past summer.
We were talking about life and how everything just wasn't turning out as we always pictured it to be. Then, she says, "I always thought when I found the perfect man for me my life was going to awesome. I would be happy and not insecure. And I realized I actually need God more now than before I was married. My problems didn't go away. Of course, my husband does make me the happiest, but he doesn't satisfy me like God does."

I think I realized then that I had been looking to find happiness in marriage. I really do want to get married, but I realized that it will never satisfy me like Jesus will.

Over the past few days, I keep hearing the same thing, "If you drink from the well, you will never go thirsty again."



On a lighter note, my womb cried out for children the other day. haha. I was nannying for a family and they have a two year old girl and four year old boy. In the middle of the night, there was this really bad storm, lightning and all. At 2:30 am, in the doorway of the room I was sleeping in, are two little figures holding hands and came to crawl in bed with me. We all piled in on the bed, and fell asleep. I woke up at one point on the edge of the bed, and the two little bodies spread out.


I can definitely wait to have children, but will totally love every minute of it when it happens!

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

.the smell of the sea.

It has been a year since I have left Teen Mania. 

So many things have happened since leaving! 

1. I learned how to live in the real world, kind of. I got a job and started paying for my own things. 
2. I moved away to college, ORU to be exact. I have always had the dream of going to ORU. I just put it aside for a season.
3. And I started redreaming of the things to do in life when you are in your early 20's. 

So when I left TM, I wrote this little story about this new season in my life. I never showed anyone, except one person. (so if you are a reader of this blog, you are some of the few).

Enjoy.

8/22/2009

it was officially a week on tuesday that i left the harbor.
oh the harbor. its a beautiful place where people come and go.
they load up their ships with all the supplies and food they need for the giant sea.

i sat at the harbor for three years, loading up my ship.
i cried when my fellow friends went out to sea.jealous of their adventures.
and then the day came. i set sail and said goodbye.
i set sail for the sea.

i have heard many stories about the sea.
some people say it is a rough storm out there.
alot have fallen defeat to the storms and lost all food and cargo.
some have saved the drowning and become fishers of men.
some have lost their direction and begun to sail the course of defeat.

i had no idea what it would like for me.
i had dreamt of the sea and the smell of the clean air.
yes freedom, some call it.
some say, finally getting out of the harbor is the most rehabilitating thing someone can feel.

And here I am on my own.
It is something that I did not expect to see.

Yes, it something very different that I have seen.
It Is Jesus Christ leading me...
He is steering my course. And I keep finding ministry along the way.
A four year old boy asking to hear stories from the Bible.
An old friend from high school waiting for me to say the blessing.
A department store worker faithfully working while being unnoticed.
A church moving at the beat of God’s heart.

It is different out here on the sea.
But it is a beautiful thing because I see the horizon.
And He sits on the horizon, on His throne.
Calling all men to come and be fisher’s of men.

ps. roommate date went very well. here are some pictures of the memories...

my first little post

Here is my very first post!!!

I have a confession..... I am an avid blog reader.

I just love looking at peoples pictures, hearing about what they are learning, and being inspired my their blog.

Hopefully I can do the same.

here are some current ramblings of my heart::

-19 hours of college work is sometimes a little too much

-my womb no longer cries out for babies because of the large amounts of time i spend with children...yet i eat up every moment of it!

this little one is one of the cutest!

-i am trying to stay busy to get my mind off of my singleness... and i usually forget i am single until i read about a new wedding or see a new engagement on facebook then it hits me, "oh i am not in that statistic of married by early twenties"

-i just discovered a new music video. Its called "jar of hearts" by christine perri. It has become the anthem from a previous relationship experience gone sour.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM 

- And in the past week, i have teared up multiple times when i think about God's goodness and see it happening in other people. This is probably because last year I had this huge challenge in my faith with God. I didn't understand why the things that were happening were happening to me! And I just kept running into this " have you forgotten about me?" Yet recently, God has been doing some pretty real things in my heart. And I am experiencing the goodness of Him and the beauty of "everything is beautiful in it's time."

-Lastly, i have a roommate date/blind date on friday. I was kind of hesitant about going with some random guy with a group of other people who were going on blind dates. BUT I wanted to really hang out with my floor and get to know the girls. So my friend Mary told me she had a great guy who she would ask to go with me. And he agreed. We hung out yesterday and it was really enjoyable. he is from South Africa and genuinely cool. he loves God and missions. so it is unavoidable to have good conversations and a fun time!!!

Well back to real busy life. enjoy enjoy enjoy.

love,
jocelyn elizabeth