Tip #2: Marriage isn't the Finish Line.

If you ever grew up watching Disney movies, you understand that every fairy tale ended in finding "prince charming."
Life, in the movie, reached it's full potential when "prince charming" arrived.

So, growing up, I always believed my life would reach its epiphany when I met my "prince charming." I think I even believed this until I was 21 years old.
My whole life, I dreamed of meeting him.
I dreamed of him when girls were mean in middle school.
I dreamed of him when I turned down slimy guys in high school.
I dreamed of him when my life was falling around me, and I needed a rescue.

I always thought that marriage would be my finish line to this life. It would be the happy ending to all this chaos in life.

But my mindset started to change over these past three years. I realized that marriage wasn't the finish line to life. I started to see my friends get married. And their weddings were amazing, but they were still in the same body and place the day before they got married. They still dealt with friend issues, insecurities, fears, and all of life's other troubles.

The "prince charming" didn't make the problems go away.
"Prince Charming" didn't get rid of your weight problems.
"Prince Charming" didn't change how popular you are.
"Prince Charming" didn't solve your issues at work.

I think that as single women, we can tend to experience loneliness. And in this loneliness, we want a savior. We want to be saved from the pain in our hearts during this season. So, we look to marriage for our hope. We even look to planning our wedding day, as our outlet to this life.

However, I want to tell you that if you look to marriage for your finish line, you will be disappointed. Once you cross the wedding day, you will look for another finish line. The next finish line will be babies or a better job or a bigger house.

And through looking for the next finish line, you will miss the beauty alongside of this race in life. You will miss the small things that God shines through in the everyday.

Now, I do not want to down play the beauty and holiness that marriage is. Marriage is one of the greatest joys in life. However, it will never save you from the problems in life.

So here is my advice:
1. Re-evaluate your views on marriage:  Do you want to be married in order to escape the awkward moments of life such as attending a wedding by yourself, being the third wheel, or wanting a hand to hold? Marriage encompasses a deeper commitment than wanting a "day to day" companion to ward off the loneliness.

2. Contentment with Today: Try to find contentment in today's joys. Learning to find the daily joys in life will help you not only in this season of singleness, but will teach you to appreciate the small moments down the road.

3. Lean on Jesus: Jesus is your Savior. He will be the Comforter you always wanted, the faithfulness you never had, and the strength you need to go on. Read the Word. You will learn the true character of God when you read the Word of God daily.

Isaiah 46:4

Even to your old age and gray hairs
   I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
   I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

In closing, if you sign onto facebook and see that another person is now engaged, don't fret.
They aren't running this race faster than you.
They aren't beating you to the epiphany of life.
They didn't reach heaven.
They are just going to be married.

And you will too.
In His timing.
And it will be more than you dreamed of because you learned long before, marriage isn't the finish line.


love,
jocelyn elizabeth