Haiti Trip- Spring Break

Here I am deciding to finally blog about my trip to Haiti, which happened in March.....

I have put blogging off for a while. I just graduated from college, and have been up to my ears with responsibilities. But now that summer has begun, I can start to write again.

I decided to start with the most appropriate and heartfelt, Haiti.

It was in January, that I started to read a book titled, Kisses from Katie. I would stay up late in my little bunk, with my bed lamp, reading about this inspirational woman. She was loving the orphans, caring for the poor, and had a deep love for Jesus that I understood.

I had a simple prayer that if Jesus gave me the opportunity, I would love to go and hold orphans. A few weeks later, I found out that the department of Education was taking a small team to Haiti over Spring Break. With the chaos of student teaching and etc, I forgot about it. Then a few more weeks later, I went to a young adult conference where the Lord spoke so clearly about going to Haiti. That night, I signed up.

My trip to Haiti was one of the most intense experiences in my entire life. Visiting the orphanage each day in Port-Au-Prince was so rewarding and overwhelming at times.

When you went into the nursery and sat on the floor, at least three babies would crawl into your lap at the same time, desiring to be held and loved. The children at the orphanage were so hungry for love. Your arms could never be empty while visiting the place.

To feel the heart of God in an orphanage can be quite overwhelming at times. To feel His pain for these little ones, to feel his compassion, it can be quite burdensome.

The human tendency is to turn your heart off. To not connect, to not feel. If you do this, it is easier to leave the place. It is easier to move on and live a normal comfortable life.

However, if you love deeply, you will never be the same.

The most intense times are lying in your bed, after returning from the trip. Imagining those sweet babies in my arms, holding and loving them. Those moments are what keep you up at night.

The compassion of God will move human beings to be proactive and change the world.

It has to do with the choice of whether you will numb your heart or share in the grief of the Father for His most prized possessions.

a face, wanting to be held forever.

always enough room, even if squished.

sleeping, so precious.

holding on so tight.

sisters.

I am off to bed. Hoping to keep a summer of blogging.

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

Tip #3- The List

All single woman have them, whether in their mind or on a piece of paper. We all have a list of characteristics we want in our future husbands.

I started mine when I was 14 years old. Over the years, the list had grown over to 40 items. I think whenever I saw an attractive male, I would write down a characteristic. My list had grew into an image of Jesus Christ and Brad Pitt with a foreign accent.

My list contained characteristics such as:
-hot british accent
-wore boxers instead of briefs
-good cook
-played a musical instrument
(and we will stop there, before I embarrass myself any farther)

However, growing up, I was taught to keep my standards high. I deserved the best. I deserved a man that was glowing every minute of the day with the Holy Spirit. I deserved a man who was not flesh, but immortal and perfect beyond imagination.

When I reached my 20's and entered into my first serious relationship, I realized my list was unrealistic. If I kept comparing every man to the standards of my list, I would find no one. And my singlehood would turn into marriagelesshood.

Now, don't get me wrong. We, as woman, do deserve the BEST. We deserve God's best for our lives. However, I think we get consumed with our lists and what we want, instead of what God wants for us. We ride guys off because they don't have a british accent or wear boxers instead of briefs ( i know this is an extreme example but sometimes we have extreme tendencies).

Recently, I have been reading a book called, Lady in Waiting: Becoming God's Best While Waiting for Mr. Right. In one of the chapters, she talks about the characteristics that we, as single woman, should be looking for in a future mate. After, I read this chapter, I scratched my list over the past 10 years I had been creating, and wrote a new list. Here are the characteristics:

1. Puts the needs of others ahead of his own: "This man accepts people just the way they are, loving others even when his love is not returned."
2. Maintains proper relationships: "He has the strength to back off from a fight. He will not hold a grudge"
3. Refuses to jump ahead of God's timing: "He chooses against impulsiveness so he may be in the exact center or God's will."
4. Seeks to meet the practical needs of others: "He is not so self-absorbed that he cannot make time for the needy."
5. Stands for what is right: "He is known as a man of integrity by those with whom he works."
6. Follows through on his God-given responsibilities: "This man is dependable and stays with even a difficult task until it is completed. 
7. Understands the importance of feelings and emotions: "A gentle man is the best of both; he takes the initiative to lead but tempers it with gentle responses toward the other's feelings."
8. Flees temptations to compromise: "This man refuses to be in situations that are sensual, immoral, or impure."

click here to order this amazing book

Now, I understand there are still specifics that we prefer. Some things that I added to this list are:
-a man called to ministry
-good family
-love for children
-loves blondes :)


God has put specific desires in our heart for our future mate, but lets be careful that we do not get aesthetically driven. We need to look for the majors instead of the minors.

So, go back to the drawing board with your list. It's okay to do some editing, especially if your list is over 40 items. :)

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

Tip #2: Marriage isn't the Finish Line.

If you ever grew up watching Disney movies, you understand that every fairy tale ended in finding "prince charming."
Life, in the movie, reached it's full potential when "prince charming" arrived.

So, growing up, I always believed my life would reach its epiphany when I met my "prince charming." I think I even believed this until I was 21 years old.
My whole life, I dreamed of meeting him.
I dreamed of him when girls were mean in middle school.
I dreamed of him when I turned down slimy guys in high school.
I dreamed of him when my life was falling around me, and I needed a rescue.

I always thought that marriage would be my finish line to this life. It would be the happy ending to all this chaos in life.

But my mindset started to change over these past three years. I realized that marriage wasn't the finish line to life. I started to see my friends get married. And their weddings were amazing, but they were still in the same body and place the day before they got married. They still dealt with friend issues, insecurities, fears, and all of life's other troubles.

The "prince charming" didn't make the problems go away.
"Prince Charming" didn't get rid of your weight problems.
"Prince Charming" didn't change how popular you are.
"Prince Charming" didn't solve your issues at work.

I think that as single women, we can tend to experience loneliness. And in this loneliness, we want a savior. We want to be saved from the pain in our hearts during this season. So, we look to marriage for our hope. We even look to planning our wedding day, as our outlet to this life.

However, I want to tell you that if you look to marriage for your finish line, you will be disappointed. Once you cross the wedding day, you will look for another finish line. The next finish line will be babies or a better job or a bigger house.

And through looking for the next finish line, you will miss the beauty alongside of this race in life. You will miss the small things that God shines through in the everyday.

Now, I do not want to down play the beauty and holiness that marriage is. Marriage is one of the greatest joys in life. However, it will never save you from the problems in life.

So here is my advice:
1. Re-evaluate your views on marriage:  Do you want to be married in order to escape the awkward moments of life such as attending a wedding by yourself, being the third wheel, or wanting a hand to hold? Marriage encompasses a deeper commitment than wanting a "day to day" companion to ward off the loneliness.

2. Contentment with Today: Try to find contentment in today's joys. Learning to find the daily joys in life will help you not only in this season of singleness, but will teach you to appreciate the small moments down the road.

3. Lean on Jesus: Jesus is your Savior. He will be the Comforter you always wanted, the faithfulness you never had, and the strength you need to go on. Read the Word. You will learn the true character of God when you read the Word of God daily.

Isaiah 46:4

Even to your old age and gray hairs
   I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
   I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

In closing, if you sign onto facebook and see that another person is now engaged, don't fret.
They aren't running this race faster than you.
They aren't beating you to the epiphany of life.
They didn't reach heaven.
They are just going to be married.

And you will too.
In His timing.
And it will be more than you dreamed of because you learned long before, marriage isn't the finish line.


love,
jocelyn elizabeth

Tip #2: Crock Pot vs. Deep Fryer

I don't have a lot of experience in the cooking field (if i should be completely honest on this blog). However, I do know the difference between a crock pot and a deep fryer.


For those of you who are also naive to the crock pot and deep fryer, I will give a break down.

Crock Pot: A crock pot is a cooking utensil which you add all your ingredients for the meal, such as meat, vegetables, and etc. Then, you plug the machine into the electric outlet. This must happen early in the morning because the crock pot will slowly cook the food. It takes all day long. So when you return from work, your house smells extremely delicious and your dinner is ready. You do not have to stand around and watch the crockpot cook the food. There is freedom in using a crockpot. You put everything in there and then walk away. And it cooks it for you.

Deep Fryer: This cooking machine is the most popular utensil in America. Go to a state fair, and you will smell it, see it, and most likely taste it. You can deep fry twinkies, pickles, candy bars, french fries, and most likely anything else with trans fats. A deep fryer is a large pot with scolding hot oil. You drop the food item and it cooks within a matter of minutes. Once you take the food item out, it looks delicious. However, an hour after eating your deep fried snickers, you will probably feel very sick, or your jeans will feel tighter. With the deep fryer, it is quick, convenient, but can be very dangerous. It heats up fast and cooks fast. And, the substance that it produces is unhealthy and harmful to your health.

Now, you may be wondering, how does this refer to being single???? I am glad you asked.

When you are single, sometimes you can become so hungry for a relationship that you revert to a deep fryer romance. You want it to happen fast and instantaneous. You go from saying "hi" to texting in the late hours of the night. Then you want it to happen faster, so you start to talk about marriage and engagement within the first month of dating. Your physical relationship has been lacking, since you have been single. So you want that to cook up fast. There is no time to waste. However, with a quick, unwise rush of romance, there can also be a quick fall back to reality.

However, I think, as single women, we need to be wise in our eagerness for a relationship. We need to take the course of the crockpot romance. If we see a man expressing interest, don't allow your heart to grab for the deep fried instanteous romance; quick, fast and satisfying. Allow the romance to slowly cook. Let him initiate. Don't be frustrated with it not going from a "hello" to getting your number right away. Let him lead. And if he starts leading into the deep fryer romance, maybe you need to recheck on what kind of relationship you want; instantaneous or substantial?

If you start to doubt and wonder how much longer God is going to take in bringing you a substantial love life, walk away. Quit staring at the crock pot. The crockpot can't be rushed. It will cook on its own timing. Allow God to have control over your love life. And in the end, you will not be disappointed..

Letting God have complete control over your desires and dreams for a relationship will bring full satisfaction. It will be the dinner you have been waiting for.

Hebrews 11:1
"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see."

Have faith that God already has all the ingredients prepared for your future relationship. It's in the crockpot.

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

Tip #1: Bitterness "Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride"

In my life right now, I get the question often "how many weddings have you been a bridesmaid in?"
When my response is, "Oh well I have been a bridesmaid six times..." The gasp and referral to 27 dresses makes it a little more entertaining.

I never thought I would be a bridesmaid so many times in my life and every single wedding I have been in, I have been single. No date. Just me and my awesome bouquet.

As the number starts to climb of the ratio of my married friends to my single friends, I feel the panic come too.

Will I ever get married?
Will I be the woman with cats?
Will I be the aunt with no kids but has a closet of bridesmaid dresses to prove?

Sure, these are all valid reasons to panic when another best friend gets engaged. However, I have two choices to make.

1) I can be bitter and unhappy with being alone. I can be bitter at God for not bringing him along. I can be bitter at the fact, I will be wearing purple instead of white.

2) I can be happy for my friend and be joyful as though it is my own wedding.

I would encourage all the single ladies to embrace option #2.
Nothing is more sweeter in life, than being overwhelmingly excited the morning of your friend's wedding. It will bring joy to your life in sharing the joy in others.

Bitterness will only cause you to resent your life. It will cause your passion for life to dry up. If satisfaction does not come in your everyday life now, it will not come when you are married.

I feel unbelievably blessed to have had so many opportunities to see the dearest friends experience one of the best days of their life. I feel blessed that they would consider me so dear to be on their "team" for this monumental day.

So tip #1, when you get the screaming, hysterical, crying call that your bestie from highschool is engaged to the most amazing Ryan Renolds look alike, scream with her.
Jump up and down for her.
Cry with her.
Because her joy will bring joy to your life.

Proverbs 27:9

"Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart,
   and the pleasantness of a friend
   springs from their heartfelt advice." 

love,

jocelyn elizabeth

Single.

As you can tell, the name of my blog has changed.

I realized, as I am living this single life, that we as women need to be encouraged in being single.

I think as our friends are moving on to the season of relationships, engagement, or marriage, we feel left behind.

We feel sometimes they have reached the finish line before us. 

However, I want to blog about my personal experience in being single, currently, right now.

Absolutly single. 

No pursuers. 

No interests. 

Dry as a desert, people.

Completely single and surviving.

This will not be a blog about venting about the troubles and the poor life of a single woman.

Nope. 

This blog will be about taking advantage of this season as one of the most freeing and positive places in life.

So be prepared for the funny, the raw and the vulnerability about being single in this life.

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

I just had to make this photo. i feel like it oozes my confidence in my singleness.

Simple Things in Life

 

I came home from work today and I found these in my room.

My mom went out and got fresh flowers for me.

They are making my room smell quite amazing.

 

Also, I got some new books this week. 

If you look on my bed, there is a wide range of books, from dating to running to school books.

I love books. 

If you know me, you know that I probably recommend a new book to you every other week.

I am learning to find joy in the simple things in my life.

The Lord is teaching me about contentment right now.

I have realized that, contentment doesn't come when we reach major milestones in our life. Contentment comes when we embrace and cherish the everyday life.

So I am choosing to learn to walk in contentment everyday.

Content about going back to school.

Content about being where I am in life.

Content with God.

love,

jocelyn elizabeth

Summer Homework

Summer Studying at its best. (just lots of webcam photos)

learned how to curl my hair with a flat iron from youtube

lots of time on pinterest.

Summer is ending soon.

I must enjoy the fleeting moments of fun.

And be disciplined.

However, this summer has been great.

Lots of eating healthy (elimination of salt, sugar, and white flour products)

Runs around the lake close by.

Late night movie nights with my mother.

It has been so great. 

love,

jocelyn elizabeth

Come Jesus.

These past six months have been some of the most interesting. I feel as though my heart has been tested, tried and persevered. If you read my journal, it seems as though it is a roller coaster of emotion. However, I came across this journal entry and believe it describes perfectly my heart towards God.

Through all of life's turmoil, He is still faithful. 

My heart will forever believe.

Come close, Jesus.

4/4/11

Come Jesus.

Come Jesus, to this feeble heart of mine.

Form me to be more like You.

I want to know the intimate parts of your heart.

I want my heart to be fashioned with Yours.

Intimacy with you makes the puzzle pieces of this jigsaw life,

come perfectly together.

You are all I want. 

My heart is lovesick.

It feels so unsettled.

I do not belong here.

My heart desires to be near to Him.

It desires to be at the feet of God.

For I feel that there is more to this life I live.

This is not my home.

I feel like a vagabond moving from place to place in order to just follow His voice.

His voice, so gentle, so powerful.

Enrapturing this unsettled heart of mine.

Come, Jesus.

Be near.

love,

jocelyn elizabeth

Return from Family Vacay.

Ten years ago, the Lord started restoring my family. I am humbly grateful for the work the Lord has done in each one of us in the Berry clan.

Ten years ago, we started taking our annual family vacation to Florida. Same beach, different houses. Each year, we take the long road trip to Florida. Many memories made and conversations had.

I am beyond grateful for the chance to have family vacations, where a man and wife have been married for 30 years, and two sisters, who are devoted to the Lord.

God is so faithful.

Here are some fun little stories of the family vacay:

-me and mom didn't hit the road for our 12 hour roadtrip until 2 pm.

-2 am, we have a freak accident at a gas station in nowhere, Alabama, where the gas didn't shut off. It was flooding everywhere. We were scared.

-there was a youth group retreat center up the road from our cottage. after remembering all of our crazy youth group days, i decided to start being a youth leader in the fall.

-we ate loads of ice cream.

-read millions of good magazines on how to keep in shape.

-started reading the book "radical" which deserves a separate post all in itself.

Here are some pictures of our little berry vacay. enjoy.

we grilled almost every night.

my dad is the master griller.

This donut place was on the Food Network. We stood in the rain.

They were well worth the wait.

all natural.

a peak into our little cottage.

we love eachother.

close friends.

we can't help that we are so funny.

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

Berry Beach Time

For the past 8 years, the Berry Family has taken a family vacation to the beach every summer. Family vacations are the best and are probably the most relaxing. 

When you are with your family, all your guards are down, and you are organically just you. If you know the Berry family at all, we are one funny, crazy bunch, but have the best time on vacations. 

My sister usually wants to listen to my ipod the whole time, because of all the new music I have added. And I bring 20 books down, in the hopes of finishing all of them in a week. 

Some people say camping really bonds a family, the Berry's don't do the wilderness for fun, only for mission trips.

Let the good times begin.

 love,
jocelyn elizabeth

Friendship

One of the best gifts on earth are friendships.

They help you become greater than you are.

Authentic friendships challenge you to be self-less, rather than selfish.

I can say that I have been blessed with some of the most authentic friendships.

Sometimes, I ask God why He gave me such amazing friends. 

I feel undeserving and overwhelmingly blessed.

I think the greatest gift Teen Mania gave me for the three years I spent there, was friendships.

I love my Teen Mania friends.

We laugh more than we ever have.

We encourage, strengthen, and carry eachother through the hardest seasons in this world.

I am blessed.

I just got back from a trip to visit some wonderful girlfriends that live in Virginia Beach. 

It was so fun.

I loved it.

beach time with hannah. 

we were roomates in Texas and became the closest of friends.

Girl time, mani's and pedi's.

We took a roadtrip to see our dear friend, Ashley get married.

It was 8 hours of pure bonding, sleeping, and laughing.

Alyse took a bus for 12 hours to come in for the wedding.

Everytime I see this lady, she brings so much joy to my life.

I think this picture totally describes our friendship.

Ashley and Me.

We were roommates my first year at Teen Mania. 

Many talks and secrets shared with her.
She has married such a great man. We kept saying throughout the wedding, it is so obvious how much he loves her!

Oh I caught the bouquet. Never caught the bouquet before. it was interesting.

Last night in VA Beach, and it was the 4th of July.

So much fun, laughing, late night runs to the grocery store for cookies and cream ice cream and pizza.

Loved it.

Love,

jocelyn elizabeth

Green Tea Pills.

I have seen commercials on tv for this new phenomenon called "green tea" pills.
They are suppose to boost your metabolism and help you loose weight.

If these are such great miracle workers, I can see a problem occurring. And my mind goes back to the 90's, when I watched the most impactful episode of television in my whole life, "Saved By the Bell."

Now, keep in mind, I was probably seven years old when I saw this for the first time. So it seemed alot more dramatic. However, when I think about using the "green tea" pills, I only think of Jessie Spano in this dramatic portrayal of what "pills" will do to you. (Zack Morris, you will always be my number one love.)

Besides DARE in fifth grade, Jessie Spano had taught me to think twice about "pills." Thank you, Jessie.

If you didn't experience it firsthand, let me share it with you.
Your perspective on "pills" will forever change.







love,
jocelyn elizabeth

Secrets.

I secretly:

-wish I was morning person, and thoroughly enjoyed it

-love Christian Radio and would listen to it all day long

-wish I had no curves and was skinny like a stick

-love the children's section of the library and could stay there for hours

 

-wish I could sing (good)

-love checking my phone for new text messages

-hope that one day I will witness a physical miracle

-pray every night before I fall asleep at night that he will come soon.

Sometimes secrets should be kept secret. And sometimes its liberating to hear anothers.

love,

jocelyn elizabeth

Philippians 3:7-9

⁷ I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. ⁸ Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ ⁹ and become one with him.


Count it all as loss.
Worthless.

If I count this life, all my dreams and desires, as loss, compared to knowing Jesus Christ, then there are no limits in the capacity He can use me.
No fear of man.
No fear of death.
No fear, because I see that risking all that I hold dear for the sake of the Gospel is far greater than clinging to the comfortable life I once held so tightly.

I can always tell when I have become comfortable, holding too tightly to my dreams.
Its the sign when people start to speak of His return, and my heart yearns to stay here.
I become panicked because my dreams haven't happened yet.
To be married.
To have kids.
To live here with my comforts.

Yet, I recognize when my heart has counted everything as loss, compared to knowing Him. Because when I hear of the possibility of Him returning soon, my heart becomes lovesick.
Anticipation.
Longing.
Hopeful, for more than what I see.

Jesus, help me count it all as loss.

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

A Little Video from Wedding Week

Here is a little video of preparing for Rach's wedding.

It was so much fun and I enjoyed every minute of helping her.

If you notice, me and rach became best friends because of our same since of humor. Many laughs with this girl!

Today, I went out to lunch with my wonderful friend, Alex.

We were dear friends at Teen Mania. She actually was my leader for two years while I was there. 

We became close right away. I love her dearly and know we will be friends for a very long time.

(I was also a bridesmaid in her wedding too! what a honor!)

bride and maid.

lunch in the lou outside. it was a beautiful day!

well off to read...

love,

jocelyn elizabeth

Sweet Sweet Wedding

I just got back from a week long experience of preparation for my best friend's wedding.
It was sooo sweet.
I stayed with the groom's parents, who are hog farmers.
If you know me at all, there is nothing "small town" about me.
However, I had the most relaxing time.
Homecooked meals, nice runs on dirt country roads, and more naps than I have taken in years.

I was able to help the bride from creating a veil from scratch to setting up all the reception decor.
And by Saturday night at the reception, I was the exhausted one, who sat more than danced the night away.

I wanted to reveal a few pictures and videos from the wedding week.

small town softball game

helping her with final touches before meeting the groom

me and my parents.

laughing, something that was quite frequent.

friends.

 

 

 

now off for a run in the suburbs.

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

The Best.

I am packing to go to my best friend from high school's wedding.
This will be my 6th wedding as a bridesmaid.

I believe weddings are one of the best windows into the heart of God.
The life commitment to love relentlessly.
To see, a man and a woman, commit to each other, unknowingly of what is ahead of them, is one of the most beautiful things.

I have been able to stand and support five women through the process of preparing for this beautiful day.
I have seen with my own eyes what real love really is.

So, this wedding will be quite emotional for me.
Me and Rachel were each other's moral support throughout high school, to stay single and wait for the best.
Almost every Friday night, we would grab some junk food and a movie. And we would just dream about the day we would be married.

And she really has found God's best for her.
She faithfully waited for Russell.
And Russell treats her like royalty.

I am so happy for, and am ready to let her go from "the single ladies" club.
She deserves nothing but the best.

So here is a little tribute, to the best friend a girl could have:

Ps.
We are having a special of the month to join the "single ladies" club. No payment necessary. Eligibility requirements are as follows:
-easily accessible to get a hold of
-willing to travel to tropical places for single lady retreats
-must enjoy junk food and chick flicks
-must be real, vulnerable, and transparent about the life of a single woman (no "totally content being single", "i completely don't desire to be married at all", or "i love being single and hanging with couples")



love,
jocelyn elizabeth

To Whom It May Concern:

One of the sweetest songs I have ever heard.

I think it describes my heart perfectly sometimes.

enjoy.

love,
jocelyn elizabeth

Waiting

Waiting is such a paradox to the society I live in.
I want everything instantly.
Instant food, Instant money, instant romance, instant success.

Right now, I am leaning more towards wanting God to do instant things in my life.
My heart wants to cry out, whine, and ask why things aren't moving in the direction I want them to in my life.
I want to shout, "have you forgotten me? remember me?"

And then I realize, i have become impatient. I have lost sight of what this life is about, Him. It's not about me and my selfish needs.

And once my mind shifts, I am completely satisfied in waiting. Content in just being in love with Him. Content in His grace, forgiveness and mercy. Content in life.


Right now, I feel as though I am just waiting.
Waiting for the Lord to do great things in my life.
Waiting for the Lord to speak.

I have determined to wait.
I will wait for the goodness of the Lord.
I will wait for His voice to beckon me in the direction He wants me to take.

Psalm 27:14
"Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous.Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."

Psalm 37:7
"Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act."


love,
jocelyn elizabeth